Here I will attempt to fearlessly explain myself.
Let me start by saying I raged against this subject, for anyone outside the rabbit hole of #BCM114, I am speaking about my making media subject at university.
The rage is utilisable, it means I threw all fibres of my energetic being into searching for the thing. Which in my case was a continuous topic to podcast about once I figured out all my gear. Tick. I did that. I am solid on that front.
My hindrance is my breadth of time. My age dictates that I have had the opportunity to both live a lot and thus learn, absorb and analyse what I come into contact with. So I have been holding myself up to the myriad of podcasts that exist. When I decided I wanted to make a podcast on hiking it needed to stand up to the dirtbag diaries or Wild ideas worth living. That I was invalid talking about festivals unless it was as potent as Life as a festival. That I couldn’t discuss health because I am not Rich Roll and lets not even start with cutting myself down about interviewing prowess in comparison to The Daily.
In saying that I have pushed through my own vitriol, which at times was creatively crippling, to at least explore these avenues. My latest podcast is exploring boundless Bambi and points me in the direction of interviewing my entrepreneurial/ enlivened female friends. (disclaimer :Unicorn there may too much spiritual chat in this pod ) Therefor the prototyping phase allows me keep cycling through my ideas and this is one that I have a loaded cannon for and glob willing, an audience.
I also took a week break from punching the podcast bag because it was hurting my soul. This is where I decided to pursue another long time inclination of shirt creation. Things have progressed a long way from the inky mess of screen printing at home but like I have alluded to before, I’ve been living under or perhaps on top of a giant rock (mountain entranced, zero internet interest). Here’s my little red bubble deviation perchance you care about my mind meanderings that I think would be funny, cute or cryptic on a shirt.
Yes I know I can upload them on a transparent background but after being dominated by GIMP and recognising that this was a side hustle to my main goal and therefore unworthy of a plethora of cAT stocks (coins of attention and time for those playing along), I threw together some designs on Canva. The shirts briefly placated my mind worms, thank F.
How did I interact with course material you say? I spent a lot of this semester researching podcasts, obviously by listening to them and critiquing what I thought worked or didn’t and how I could elicit workable self feedback through this process as my reality was mostly me, myself and Bambi. What stood out to me in the prototyping phase was my innate desire for reality interaction and thus integration. But I lacked the guts to get too public with my creations. The Pod buffet allowed me play with different formulas whilst simultaneously ending in ‘inertia’ and ‘crisis’. I need more perspectives and that is something I will work on in this cyclical process.
Did I fail? If we scoot back to the buffet analogy, I will go so far to say as I think we made it to the cute little marshmallow mountain that completes all buffets (good ones anyway, yes I’m talking about Sizzler). I hit the testing idea insofar as I created and responded to that. Am I happy in the traditional sense? No, I genuinely wanted to have a working podcast at this point and maybe even some of those followers. Although that last pod scored me 4 followers on soundcloud (2 are bots and I think the arse photo helped).
I change my ideas more than my underwear (what it’s lockdown) but I think this brain neurosis coupled with the subject materials and assignments has actually allowed me to explore my podcast dream in a thoughtful and methodical manner even if at the end of the day it all looks like a dropped bowl of spaghetti.
I am compelled to continue to create through the gaze of horny or spite. Thanks Sir.
Jane BAMBI Drew 
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